My Brother Paul

My brother Paul died March 10, 2009 of Adrenomyeloneuropathy (AMN), he was 54 years old. AMN is an incurable, x-chromosome linked disease that attacks the nervous system. This photo is from December when I went to NJ to visit him in his assisted living facility. He could no longer walk nor feed himself because his brain could not tell his muscles to move.

It was a long painful journey for him, and for those who watched helplessly as he suffered. I'd like to say I got something positive from this experience. Like belief in aphorisms, "live each day to its fullest" or "today is a gift that's why it's called 'the present'". But I did not come away with that, I just feel humble in the face of mortality.

My pal Pauli

Did you ever notice that it’s often in retrospect that you understand why you did something?

In September my partner and I adopted a dog. I found him on www.petfinder.com at The Baja Animal Sanctuary. Originally, I wanted Rocco, but he was already adopted by the time we were ready. Instead they introduced us to another dog with an equally bad-ass mobster type name - Pauli. You know, like Paulie Walnuts from The Sopranos. He’s 10 lbs and probably a Dachsund, Yorkie mix. I don’t want to ruin his tough guy image so I don’t call him a “Dorkie” which would be his hybrid name.

Ah… Pauli. He leapt into my arms when we met. It was love at first sight. And all I could say was, “Yes of course we’ll take him!”

Why that day? Why that moment? Now I know. I didn’t know then. It’s a chaotic world right now, where “change” is the call to action but not as easy as advertised. I just wanted comfort and unconditional love from a small little being. He’s our little clown, a peanut, a little woofer, Mr. Walnuts, Señor Swanky and he calms so many worries that we couldn’t do anything about anyway.

Less Is More

I called my cable company to lower my bill. They told me no can do, BUT, for the same price I now have a DVR. I guess at least they saved me time - and as we know time=money.

Well, that's a cable company and they are monopoly-like. What about in areas where there is competition? In 2009 I have noticed the trend for less is more in two areas.

1. Netbooks. I've read several articles that people buying these lower priced gadgets because they are good enough for things like email and surfing the net. I have one and I like it. Although I suffer a bit because I didn't fork over the money for Windows and got Ubuntu instead. Little did I know that Ubuntu is for people who like to program themselves.

2. McMansions. New houses are getting smaller in America. According to the U.S. Census Bureau the average size of homes started in the third quarter of 2008 was 2,438 square feet, down from 2,629 square feet in the second quarter. Now, compared to other countries in the world this is gargantuan. The average size of a house in France is about 1,100 square feet and I'd love to know what it is in Japan.

I would love more Americans to embrace the less is more mantra. Not just because it saves money but because it just makes sense.

"The Reader" - dark side of humanity

No movie has impacted me more lately, than "The Reader". After seeing the film, I went home and curled up on the couch feeling rather depressed and helpless. My thoughts were dominated by the dark side of humanity and how we can be so easily beguiled by handsome, affable people.

I had just willingly sat through a movie set in 1950's Germany about the sexual abuse of a teenage boy. Why didn't I get up and ask for a refund?

I know that a relationship between a 30 year-old (Hanna) and a 15 year-old (Michael) is wrong and psychologically damaging. But on the screen they look so happy together; and they are an attractive couple; and don't boys want this kind of thing?; and the theater is full of compliant watchers. This can't be wrong.

Later in the last 1960's Hanna is tried for war crimes linked to the Holocaust and is imprisoned. Okay, involvement in the Holocaust is clearly wrong.

I am left with several unanswered questions. How do I recognize right from wrong when it's not clear cut? How do I stop little wrongs from happening so that they don't get bigger? Is it worth the fight? And should I have walked out of that theater and refused to participate in such a story?

Desperational Shopper

I listened to a retail analyst's voicemail on Monday. She said that the U.S. consumer has moved from being 'aspirational' to 'desperational'. That's such a funny word 'desperational'. Her pitch is that in this environment stores like Walmart and Dollar Stores sales should benefit from this shift and Nordstrom and Saks 5th Avenue should suffer.

I wonder how long this shift will last?

For years most Americans have lived beyond their means. Will this current pile of muck change the way we shop as a nation? In the long term no. As soon as consumers have access to credit again we're back to the keeping up with the Jones' lifestyle. Because the drive to attain the American Dream of lots of stuff is bigger than the fear of eating cat food when we're 80.

One of my favorite bumper stickers of all time was "Question Consumption". I thought about buying one and then didn't because it seemed counter to the whole "question consumption" plea.